The Secret: Ocean City, NJ with a bag of change

Nothing comes free...not even sand and water that's been here since the Jurassic Period (I looked that up)

My friend Mary and I could not really afford to go to the beach yesterday. We had a few dollars each and a bag of loose change between us. We therefore decided we were going to go to Ocean City for next to nothing. It’s like the book, “The Secret.” I have never read “The Secret,” though I have ridiculed it. Anyway, I know that the premise of the book is to fixate on what you want, and you will pretty much get it. I guess I could have harnessed the power of positive thinking to land myself a job—then I would not only have been able to afford to pay for parking at the beach, but I could have splurged and bought “The Best Boardwalk Fries on Earth!” from a guy dressed, sadly, like a bucket of fries. If Fry Guy had used the power of “The Secret,” maybe he wouldn’t have been on the receiving end of crotch kicks from some angry, visor-wearing children whose parents wouldn’t buy them a hermit crab. But anyway, I won’t knock “The Secret;” here’s how it worked for me:

Buy one, get one free! (at equal or lesser value)

Lunch: we were determined to spend as little as possible on food, and what do you know, it was Restaurant Week! Two meals for the price of one=a bill that was under $11. It was actually the FINAL day of restaurant week. We had no idea.

Drink free water to save money!

 

 

 

Parking: We have been going to Ocean City for a couple of years, and we always parked in the same parking lot, which used to cost about $12. Well, this year it went up to $20. Parking here would have been an impossibility, simply because we didn’t have $20 between us. Instead, we found this meter which cost only a dollar an hour, and it still had time on it. Thanks, bag of loose change!

It's the little things in life...

Beach: You have to pay to get on the beach at Ocean City. Well, unless you sneak on, which is what we did. OC has life guards posted EVERYWHERE to check for beach tags, but we snuck on by the bathrooms, where they have trouble telling who’s coming or going. If you plan to sneak on by the bathrooms, hold your bag and towel in front of your chest so the authorities can’t see that you don’t have a tag clipped to your bathing suit. As you calmly walk onto the beach, scot-free, turn to a member of your party and remark on “how rough the surf has been all morning.”

The bathroom facility is the best place to sneak on

Concert: As we were walking down the boardwalk cramming our faces with Mack and Manco pizza (2 slices=$4.50, a little expensive but incredibly delicious) we saw a queue of people lined up at the beachfront concert hall to see Lucie Arnaz (Lucille Ball’s daughter, for those of you who are not old and decrepit.) Mary is a huge fan of Lucille Ball, and she wanted to see Lucie if it was free. Well, it was not free, nor were tickets available. In fact, senior groups and nursing homes had locked in on all the seats months in advance—at least, that’s what it looked like from the blue-haired, pink-pants-wearing crowd.

I was relieved, because I didn’t feel like sitting through Big Band standards all evening. But I had forgotten the power of “The Secret!” A kindly man, spotting us on the edge of the crowd, asked us if we wanted his extra tickets. I declined, prepared to laugh at the thought of a senior citizen scalping tickets for Lucie Arnaz and the Ocean City Pops, but he gave them to us for free. Mary was pretty happy that she got to hear Lucie Arnaz sing “Hey Look Me Over,” and I was happy that I got to sneak out during the George M. Cohan musical tribute under the guise of “feeding the meter.”

Just as they were wrapping up “You’re a Grand Old Flag,” I slipped back in to hear Lucie Arnaz talking about…drumroll, cymbal clash…“THE SECRET!” She said it had changed her life, and as a tribute to the book, she sang “Blue Skies.” Well, there was one pair of dry eyes in the audience. But still, Lucie was on to something! I departed from the beach with a few dollars left to pay the bridge tolls, which is more than I can say for last year when I passed the toll-taker a fistful of pennies stuck together with gum and asked him to let me slide.  (To his credit, he said “Just this once.”)

She knows "The Secret!"